Dont Let The Bedbugs Bite

(oct 23 2007)

Was i really that naive to think i wouldn't end up at this place. Bad luck seems to be glued to my soul. Everything i do, every place i go i feel the stench of unfortune. My life is just one big sob story beginning to end. I don't believe in fate, no, but i do believe in stupidity and that's what i was for not investigating this location .

I had 2 months to book a hotel and i failed at even that simple fucking task. There are god knows how many hotels and hostels in ny and i end up at a homeless shelter. Except it costs money...and we didn't get free food. Because of my apathy i might possibly have an std. Because im lazy and always put things off for the last minute i could have heroin flowing in my bloodstream. The bathrooms were shared but not private. And of course NEVER cleaned. (why would they do that?) Vial's of crack could be found in my friends "room". And Hobo Bob with his dick out asked my friend jason if he would like a "suck and fuck" This was all bad enough, but nothing and i mean NOTHING could prepare me for what i found sleeping with me on my "bed".

Bed Bugs.

Yes you heard right. Little parasitic creaters feast off blood of humans and animals alike- preferably dirty humans and animals. Before this trip i really didn't think these insects existed. Long thought to have a permanent place in folklore and urban legend, they are about half the size of a flea but have fangs that inject the host with deadly poison....I consider myself a strong person. I can handle the aids and the coke and the possible spinalmangitis from the toilets, But never in my 26 years of existence did i think i would have to experience THIS first hand. 

When we got back i knew nothing of what awaited me in my solitary confinement. I slept with all my cloths on. . It took me two hours to even fall asleep. Why wouldn't it? There was no roof and the residents really made no attempt be quiet. There was no consideration for your neighbor here. And there really wasn't any reason why there should have been. These people were living here- living in the filth, living in the disease. It took me this long to get to sleep because of this and because of a instinctive intowishin--disguised as paranoia.

Like when you see a giant spider or roach. (You kill it) and all should be just fine. But no. things aren't fine.... your mind and body play tricks, especially when trying to sleep. You begin to feel a crawling sensation almost as if the ghost of the recently deceased insect was wrecking havoc on your psychy. Well that's what was assumed since somewhere in my head i knew this place was probably infested with roaches and one could crawl on me at any time. I'm paranoid half the time anyway when it comes to bugs. I felt them crawling on me but i figured it was me just overreacting so i didn't do anything and tried to sleep. 

Big.Mistake. 

All through the night (which in reality was only like 2 -21/2 hours) the inching continued. Was it me? or was it something more? Eventually i did pass out and the very brief time i was under i dreamt of death, distruction and of the worlds passing. Very intense. I woke up assured that i wasn't just "seeing" things. That the bugs were real and were making homes in my flesh. I quickly tried to wake up matt who didn't seem to give a fuck that he was sleeping in filth. He just wanted to sleep. It didn't matter that he was bleeding from the ears or that Hobo Bob was right outside our fucking door. The kid had a long night. He just wanted to sleep.

Fuck It. i slept on the floor and later burned the clothes i had on. And they were expensive too.

So here i am, one week later, and with the memories of something i never want to be a part of again. My body bitten and bruised and scard. These scars, a painful reminder how vital it is to plan ahead.