Dont Let The Bedbugs Bite

(oct 23 2007)

Was i really that naive to think i wouldn't end up at this place. Bad luck seems to be glued to my soul. Everything i do, every place i go i feel the stench of unfortune. My life is just one big sob story beginning to end. I don't believe in fate, no, but i do believe in stupidity and that's what i was for not investigating this location .

I had 2 months to book a hotel and i failed at even that simple fucking task. There are god knows how many hotels and hostels in ny and i end up at a homeless shelter. Except it costs money...and we didn't get free food. Because of my apathy i might possibly have an std. Because im lazy and always put things off for the last minute i could have heroin flowing in my bloodstream. The bathrooms were shared but not private. And of course NEVER cleaned. (why would they do that?) Vial's of crack could be found in my friends "room". And Hobo Bob with his dick out asked my friend jason if he would like a "suck and fuck" This was all bad enough, but nothing and i mean NOTHING could prepare me for what i found sleeping with me on my "bed".

Bed Bugs.

Yes you heard right. Little parasitic creaters feast off blood of humans and animals alike- preferably dirty humans and animals. Before this trip i really didn't think these insects existed. Long thought to have a permanent place in folklore and urban legend, they are about half the size of a flea but have fangs that inject the host with deadly poison....I consider myself a strong person. I can handle the aids and the coke and the possible spinalmangitis from the toilets, But never in my 26 years of existence did i think i would have to experience THIS first hand. 

When we got back i knew nothing of what awaited me in my solitary confinement. I slept with all my cloths on. . It took me two hours to even fall asleep. Why wouldn't it? There was no roof and the residents really made no attempt be quiet. There was no consideration for your neighbor here. And there really wasn't any reason why there should have been. These people were living here- living in the filth, living in the disease. It took me this long to get to sleep because of this and because of a instinctive intowishin--disguised as paranoia.

Like when you see a giant spider or roach. (You kill it) and all should be just fine. But no. things aren't fine.... your mind and body play tricks, especially when trying to sleep. You begin to feel a crawling sensation almost as if the ghost of the recently deceased insect was wrecking havoc on your psychy. Well that's what was assumed since somewhere in my head i knew this place was probably infested with roaches and one could crawl on me at any time. I'm paranoid half the time anyway when it comes to bugs. I felt them crawling on me but i figured it was me just overreacting so i didn't do anything and tried to sleep. 

Big.Mistake. 

All through the night (which in reality was only like 2 -21/2 hours) the inching continued. Was it me? or was it something more? Eventually i did pass out and the very brief time i was under i dreamt of death, distruction and of the worlds passing. Very intense. I woke up assured that i wasn't just "seeing" things. That the bugs were real and were making homes in my flesh. I quickly tried to wake up matt who didn't seem to give a fuck that he was sleeping in filth. He just wanted to sleep. It didn't matter that he was bleeding from the ears or that Hobo Bob was right outside our fucking door. The kid had a long night. He just wanted to sleep.

Fuck It. i slept on the floor and later burned the clothes i had on. And they were expensive too.

So here i am, one week later, and with the memories of something i never want to be a part of again. My body bitten and bruised and scard. These scars, a painful reminder how vital it is to plan ahead.

I was A Bouncing Baby, Now Im a Bouncing Bomb

Sometimes the burden of life and the downright tedious activities that come with it are too much for the human soul- Physically, mentally, AND spiritually! The world we live in is a unforgiving place and to make matters worse our god is a cynical bastard. There's death, disease, famine, rape, and murder at almost every place you can point to on a globe. Sometimes you might feel like you've never been given a shot at something  or if you have, you failed to meet the original goal you wanted to achieve. Its hard, i know it, but im here to tell you- well to show you- that there is reason for rejoice, for we are not all losers- no not by a long shot, in actuality we earned our right to walk among the population that make up this earth. 

See it didnt happen by chance that your here. Your all here because you fought the good fight, a battle of the bravest, our very existence in its purest form......

Our little story begins many years ago  when your mom decided to revoke her vow of chastity to make sweet love to your father. He was a strong and decisive man. He pumped, much sperm inside your moms body. You were but one of many, to be more precise, more than two million.. The sperms are "unrelenting" in their quest to obtain their main objective. Some are weak but fast, others are strong but clumsy. some are dead at the get go. Some sit and wait in almost hibernation like state until what they came for is theirs. I don't know if people really grasp this notion of how close they were to not existing. Sure half of a person would be intact, obviously, half of everyone originates from the female egg, but the DNA from the father can mean the difference between someone looking a bit like brad pitt, or to a person resembling bryan peppers. 

That my friends is a BIG difference. 

You also may want to thank your lucky stars you didn't end up in a toilet or down some 2 cent whores intestinal track. because as some of you might know, this happens more often than not........

So i guess my case in point  is, well, we are all very very lucky that we made it. We got to the egg first and foremost. (well most of us anyway), there were literally millions of competitors who's objective was exactly the same as ours, and while we might not have earned the roof over our heads, the cars that we drive, or the computers that we are reading from right now, the one thing we did earn was life.

Pig Virus

this supports my theory of time travelers infrotrating our current timeline. there was no such thing as swine flu before this year and now all of a sudden a 1976 propaganda piece turns up? complete bullshit. We have people going back to the fucking 70s with swabs of this shit. im being serious this goes beyond the flu, these people are intentually manipulating our past to satisfy their sick perverted need to have control on this world. Soon something catastrophic will happen as a result of their actions and no one will laugh at me then.